STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
