I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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