Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
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