soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
