You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
