You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
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