I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Randomize
