I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
