Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
