are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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