apparently the secret to your success is patron
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
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