Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
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