I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Randomize
