Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
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