remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Randomize
