Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize
