So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
