Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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