your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
