Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(314): View more from Missouri

I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.

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(601): View more from Mississippi

hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?

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(317): View more from Indiana

Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.

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(217): View more from Illinois

It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.

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(949): View more from California

he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect

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(713): View more from Texas

Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.

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(714): View more from California

Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.

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(937): View more from Ohio

He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!

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(818): View more from California

He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.

(805): View more from California

Ride that fucker.

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