I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
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