I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
