He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
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