it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
