how hairy? two words: wookie tits
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
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