I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Randomize
