How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
