I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
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