White coat. Heels.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
