If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Randomize
