ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Randomize
