A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
