ya dads aren't the best wingmen
You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize