Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
