insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
My dad is sitting where you rode me
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
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