the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
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