Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
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