My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize
