yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Randomize
