Having a random hookup so left but love u
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
