when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Randomize
