Porn is love you can see.
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
