That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
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