real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize
