Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Randomize
