just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
