Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
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