you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
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