no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize
