Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Randomize
