Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
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