i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
My legs feel like baby dolphins
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Randomize
