Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
my phone needs a breathalizer
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
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