No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
she smelled like a LAN party
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
