We're like a lot better than the average bears
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Randomize