You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
