well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Randomize