Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
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