Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
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