yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
