do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Non-Jews are for practice
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Randomize
